I have been watching men and woman become expert hunters for quite some time now and I question the effects it has had on the concept of ‘Masculinity’ and ‘Femininity’. Men can slay BQQ meat with a sophisticated swipe of a Visa and Woman trap drinks and greens with precision using a Mastercard but have we accepted that we are equally good hunters yet?
I myself am a 6+ foot tall man, where I work now, I’m lovingly referred to as “The Viking” because of my beard and I make knives over the weekend. I am the proud owner of a well-equipped workshop and my tools are not for show. I like to think about myself as what one would refer to as a “Man” ,and it’s not because of my workshop, my physical size or my majestic beard, Its because of the way I think and slowly but surely I’m not the only one who thinks this way. But there is a challenge…we are all more confused than we want to admit and this makes the process and growth slow. I also make jewellery so what am I now?
The difficulty with finding what masculinity and femininity means is that the world has always been very confusing for men and woman , and we men don’t want to admit it and we diminish the bravery of woman who do, but we all refuse to accept that it is confusing by design. We are all continually bombarded with new information and counter information, leftist opinions and far right opinions, opinions from the middle and opinions from places we can’t even label and admittedly generated by both sides trying to maintain the divide and we have very little idea of what should be considered truth. Men are continuously reminded that we are barbaric and poorly informed, vilified as predators and intellectually underestimated with regards to the search for equality. Yes I am well aware that exactly the same accusations are raised against woman with the exception of barbarism…well mostly.
But perhaps it’s more important to understand how to think instead of what to think. The base line of the issue is there are very few examples because there is no norm, we simply don’t know how to interact in the world without being influenced by the examples from the past.
I am in an exceptionally fortunate position. I was raised in a house that had the weirdest combination of conservatism and liberalism and one of the beautiful liberal elements was a finite understanding that the only difference between men and woman is physical. Everything else was on equal footing so to speak. We are not debating the level of intelligence here some have more intellectual prowess than others but its got nothing do to with your biology.
I claim to be different but what is this different way of thinking? well let’s start by asking if masculinity and femininity is a term that should really be applied beyond biological terms and as such should it not only be used as a descriptive noun masculine and feminine? If this is true why is it that these terms are more often used to described a thought process and behaviour pattern than biology and here is where the first of many traps are set for us, the game of life is a divisive construct drilled into many of us from childhood and it’s broken rules are perpetuated on a daily basis by most of us and that serves only one purpose to ‘undermine and diminish’ the search for equality.
And believe you me, the playing field is heavily screwed in favour of men. We have been playing the game of life with a stacked deck for so long that we have completely forgotten who the other team is, what they need to play the game and why we were playing in the first place. I believe our search for connection has led us to a space of confusion, we don’t know how to change the rules of the game so we try to play fair by trying to change the players. The issue here is the rules we play by not the players. The fact that in almost every earning space in the world men earn more than woman for doing exactly the same thing is an absolute travesty. The fact that in most places in the world woman are treated like second rate citizens is abhorrent. The broken rules of the games are sometimes applied overtly and sometimes its nicely hidden behind policy and social structures but they are always there and they are rarely broken.
And don’t get me started on the taxes applied to feminine hygiene products. A great example of how the rules are unfair from a purely commercial perspective. I don’t even understand how a natural bodily function can be taxed, we don’t tax men for erections, I don’t see why woman should pay taxes for menstrual cycles. The products cost money and I get that, someone has to make it so that there are products to use, but why TAX those products? Because the rules say that only one team has to carry the burden of their equipment while the other team has it sponsored…ever seen a free condom dispenser? Because I’ve never seen a free contraceptive pill dispenser.
The answer to breaking free of the broken game and its broken rules is simple, start break down your preconceived ideas by actively limiting your differentiation between humans to a purely physical level. If you can make this mind shift you are no longer bound to the preconceived notion that biology determines capacity, mental or otherwise. The world we function in is designed to accommodate the methods, needs and endeavours of Men above those of Women. Being aware of this, admitting it and supporting those who speak out is the greatest step to changing the game permanently.
Changing the game starts with you! Its starts with you rewriting the rule book one small step at a time and It’s not difficult! Men, look a women in the eyes when you speak to them it shows respect, treat their opinions with equal value it builds confidence, stand up when there is no one defending the sovereign right for woman to be equal it mends the divide. Women, acknowledge the effort made to treat you equally it teaches, don’t allow the feminine card to be played for positioning it shows independence, stand up when men are generalised and vilified it mends the divide. Everyone, when we are diminished, labelled or objectified SPEAK OUT it changes the game. If this makes you a villain so be it. You will always be the villain in someone’s story, you can also be the hero to someone else.
You might find this article confusing, I love my beard, I love making manly sounds in the morning whiles on the throne, I enjoy scratching myself, when my wife permits it, but I cannot stand what we have become. A bunch of complacent lackeys to a system that is trying to trick us into supporting its systematic oppression and diminutive culture and this, this needs to end and it ends with you standing up for what you feel is equal treatment, fair comment and good old fashioned appreciation for another human being.
Mind, on the rocks?! 